Am I a kind person, if I don’t always feel kind?
Can something be true, if it is only true some of the time?
Am I a kind person, if I don’t always feel kind?
Do I love, if I don’t always feel the love?
In our journey of spiritual growth, we seek to refine our character, and develop a relationship with G-d. Indeed, much of Judaism is designed to help us develop feelings of kindness and empathy to others, as well as an emotional bond with G-d. Each and every day we recite the words of the Shema prayer, we meditate on the greatness of G-d, and seek to bring to life the words of the Shema “you shall love the L-rd your G-d with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your might.” Yet, more often than not we are discouraged because it seems that we are not able to maintain this lofty spiritual state. We often fall back on our own self oriented perspective, and are not always able to feel connected to others.
Does the fact that we cannot experience holiness consistently mean that our experience is inauthentic and false?
This question lies at the heart of a passionate dispute between Moses and his brother Aaron, in this week’s Torah portion.
Two of Aaron’s sons died on the day the tabernacle was inaugurated. Aaron, following the commandment Moses, ate the inauguration offerings despite his state of mourning. Aaron felt that the commandment to consume the temporary offerings of the inauguration, did not apply to the ongoing daily offerings. Moses was furious and demanded to know why the daily offerings were burned and not consumed. Aaron explained his position to Moses, and “Moses heard [this], and it pleased him.”
The dispute between Moses and Aaron ran deeper than a technical dispute about a matter of law. Chassidic philosophy explains that Moses represents the unyielding, unchanging truth, while Aaron represents peace and the ability to compromise. Moses argued that there be no distinction between the temporary exhilarating spiritual moments, and the ongoing daily reality. From the perspective of Moses, the exemplifier of truth, if something is true it must be true always. Aaron’s perspective differs. Aaron was a man of peace because he was able to understand and evaluate the point of view of every person. Aaron understood that the spiritual makeup of most people does not allow them to experience the ultimate truth in a consistent way. There are extraordinary experiences (“inauguration offerings”) which are not always felt in day to day life (“ongoing daily offerings”).
Yet, eventually Moses agreed with Aaron, because Moses understood that indeed truth must be consistent, but there are degrees of consistency. While most people will not feel a love to G-d at every moment, they are able to experience the feeling of love for one moment every day. That too, Aaron teaches Moses, is considered consistent, that too is truth.
The answer to these questions, then, is that if we are capable of experiencing a moment of kindness every day, if we can feel a moment of love every time we say the Shema, then those feelings are true. And they will endure.
(Adapted from the teachings of the Rebbe, Lekutei Sichos 17 Shmini 3)