Do I Matter? What is the basis and foundation for our self-value and self-esteem? Should we value ourselves based on our talents, achievements, and accomplishments, or is our value inert to our humanity, unconditional, irrespective of performance metrics? Each of these approaches alone may produce substantial negative consequences. When one's self-esteem is pegged to external accomplishments, the person has an unquenchable need for consistent confirmation and validation from others. The person is left without a psychologically healthy anchor and is in constant need to justify their own value and existence. On the other hand, focusing on one's unconditional value is a disincentive for a person to work hard to achieve greatness and impact the world. At the beginning of the Book of Numbers, we read of two distinct censuses for the tribe of Levi. The opening verses of this week's portion describe the command to count the Levites who would serve in the temple, the Levites who were between 30 and 50 years old: The Lord spoke to Moses saying: Take a census of the sons of Gershon, of them too, following their fathers' houses, according to their families. From the age of thirty years and upward, until the age of fifty years you shall count them, all who come to join the legion, to perform service in the Tent of Meeting. (4:21-23) In last week's portion, by contrast, we read of the census of the tribe of Levi in which they counted all levites from thirty days old: The Lord spoke to Moses in the Sinai desert, saying: Count the children of Levi according to their fathers' house according to their families. Count all males from the age of one month and upward. (Numbers 3:14-15) With the double census, the Torah teaches us that both perspectives on self-value are true. The foundation is that we are created in the image of G-d, and therefore every human being has infinite and unconditional value. We must remind ourselves and teach our children that, despite a society that evaluates people by their wealth, power, beauty, and influence, our value is infinite as it is predicated on the spark of infinity that is our soul. This truth is expressed by counting even the infant Levites who could not possibly have any achievements to speak of. Yet together with that, there is a second census, at the age when the Levites would perform service in the temple. The second census symbolizes that we attain meaning and satisfaction from our ability to express our G-d given talents. In the second census, every action and every accomplishment adds value since it is an opportunity for us to fulfill the purpose of our creation, namely to transform the world into a home for the Divine, a palace of harmony, goodness, and kindness.
ב"ה