All It Takes Is One Small Candle
I want to change.
Should I stop engaging in destructive behaviour abruptly, or should I gradually focus my effort on introducing positive behavior into my life? My eating habits are terrible. Should I cut out all the sugary and fatty foods all at once (what’s the point of eating a vegetable with one hand, while holding a bottle of Coke in the other?) - or should I slowly introduce broccoli and lettuce into my diet, increasing the healthy foods gradually. I want to write a book. Should I stop everything that I am doing and devote every minute of the next year to the task, or should I focus on writing for ten minutes each day?
I would like to climb out of my spiritual darkness.
I can put all my effort into stopping the negative behaviour, or I can recognize that, for the time being, I will not be able to stop sucumbing to my evil inclination, I should therefore put my effort into introducing productive activities into my routine, and over some time all the positivity in my life will eradicate the negativity.
This question is the logic behind the Talmudic dispute about the amount of lights kindled on each night of Chanukah. The house of Shammay maintain that on the first night of Chanukah we light eight candles, and then decrease one candle each passing night. While the house of Hillel maintain that on the first night we light one candle, and then increases one candle per night, until the eighth night, when all the candles are lit. As the Talmud explains:
Beis Shammai say: On the first day one lights eight and after that gradually reduce; but Beis Hillel say: On the first day one is lit and thereafter they are progressively increased. Ulla said: In the West [Israel] two Amoraim, Rabbi Yosi Bar Avin and Rabbi Yosi Bar Zevida, argue: One maintains: The reason of Beis Shammai is corresponding to the days still to come, and that of Beis Hillel is that it shall correspond to the days that are gone. But the other maintains: Beis Shammai's reason is that it shall correspond to the bulls of the Sukkos, whilst Beis Hillel's reason is that we rise in [matters of] sanctity but do not descend [1].
Let’s examine the second explanation. Shammay says we decrease corresponding to the bulls offered in the temple on Sukkot, and Hillel says we increase because, as a rule, we are meant to increase in holiness and not decrease. This requires additional explanation. According to Hillel, why the Torah command to decrease the amount of bulls offered each day of the holiday? does that not contradict his principle that we much increase in holiness? As for Shammai, does he not believe in the principle of increasing holiness?
Shammi and Hillel differ on the question of where to begin.
Shammai says that the first thing you must do is fight your evil. Completely. When you want to fight the evil you can’t take baby steps. You have to come out swinging. You must tell yourself things like “I will never touch - fill in any destructive behavior - again”. If alcohol is your challenge, and you say “I’ll only have three drinks instead of four”, says Shammai, you will never win. Taking small steps in the right direction, argues Shammai, is like building a sand castle on a beach, it will be washed away by the first wave of the raging sea.
Therefore, says Shammai, on the first day of Chanukah you must kindle all your lights, as you need every ounce of energy to fight the evil. Here’s the good news: tomorrow it will be a bit easier. You weekend the evil on the first night, so there is less of it on the second, hence all you need on the second night is seven lights; eventually you will rid yourself of the darkness, and you won't need any light to fight the darkness.
Hillel says: forget the evil.
Perhaps in temple times we had the spiritual strength to battle the darkness head on. In exile, bereft of the spiritual power of the holy temple and the bulls of the Holiday, we need a new strategy altogether.
We need to focus on positive action.
Don’t worry about the darkness, just take one small step in the right direction. Just light one small candle. No big deal. Anyone can do it. The key, however, is that tomorrow you add a one more light. Small but consistent growth. Before you know it your Menorah will be full [2].
[1] Talmud Shabbat 21b.
[2] Igros Kodesh (letters from the Rebbe), Vol 1 page 79.