(To set up an meeting with Rabbi Deren to discuss your child's bar/bat mitzvah, please email [email protected])

The Service - Requirements for the Bar / Bat Mitzvah (boy or girl) to do:

  1. D’var Torah: Speech - Words of Wisdom
  2. Liturgy of Choice - can be done in English-only or English/Hebrew:
    1. Prayer (for Community, for Israel, Standard Prayer Liturgy, Psalms)
    2. Readings (Principles, Scriptures, Commandments)
  3. Blessings by Parents, Family, Friends.

The Service - Choices of Venue and Day for the Bar / Bat Mitzvah (boy or girl):

  1. The actual Service and Celebration can be on any of these days:
    1. Friday Night Service (traditionally followed by Shabbat Dinner)
    2. Shabbat Morning Traditional (includes a Torah Reading)
    3. Saturday Night Havdalah Service (should begin one hour after nightfall)
    4. Sunday Noon / Afternoon / Evening
  2. The Venue must allow for the Kosher-catered celebration that follows the Service.
  3. Friday and Shabbat Services (1) are separate seating, (2) without sound systems, music or photography, and (3) should be in Central Greenwich (Chabad, Carmel, Delamar or other local halls).
  4. If not choosing the Shabbat Morning Traditional service, the family should still sponsor the weekly Shabbat Kiddush luncheon of a Saturday in close proximity to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah date, as a gesture of community participation.

  For Bat Mitzvah girls:

  1. Required: On the first Friday following her 12th HEBREW birthday, the Bat Mitzvah girl leads her family (and any invited friends) with the (1) Blessing and Separating of the Challah and prior to sunset (2) the Shabbat Candlelighting Ceremony. This is traditionally followed by Shabbat Dinner and can be done at the Bat Mitzvah girl's own home or at the home of Chani or Maryashie.
  2. Optional: Friday Night Service can be done as an Women-only event, where extended songs and prayers are led by the Bat Mitzvah girl with the participation of all women and girls in the community.

  For Bar Mitzvahs boys:

  1. Required: On the first Monday or Thursday following his 13th HEBREW birthday, the Bar Mitzvah boy and family comes to the early morning Service (7:00 am) for the (1) Tefillin Ceremony and (2) First Aliyah. This is followed by a light breakfast.
  2. Optional: If the Bar Mitzvah boy chooses to do a Reading of the Torah or Haftorah as part of his service, that is done at the Shabbat Morning service. Torah is also read on Mondays, Thursdays and rarely on Sundays.

 Personalizing the Celebration with your own Creativity! If none of the above works for you or if you would like to add creative ideas of your own, we can work with you to create a service to your liking.

  The Process (for boys and girls):

  1. First Meeting with the Rabbi and Administrator (Maruja): (12-15 months before BM)
    1. Choose a Date and Venue for the Service and Celebration
    2. Establish Schedule for Private Tutoring for Service
  2. Requirements in the year prior to the Bar / Bat Mitzvah:
    1. Enroll in the Tuesday Night Discovery Group
    2. Attend Shabbat Morning Service at least 2 Saturdays every month (for 8 months)
    3. Boys - Purchase Tefillin w/ Rabbi; Girls - Purchase Shabbat Candlestick w/ Rebbetzin.
  3. Optional - Attend Sunday Teen School (Prayer and Reading, History, Talmud for Teens)
  4. One-Month Prior MTG: Rabbi, Admin and Gabbai to review Service and Celebration details. (Rabbi Deren must approve inviation prior to printing)